Well that is not far from the truth. That radio station happens to reside in your unconscious mind. The negative signals are being generated by the storehouse of negative memories of your life that are buried there. You see the unconscious mind is the burial ground for negative unwanted emotionally unpleasant memories. Without such a burial ground these memories would constantly flood one’s conscious awareness and this would make it next to impossible to function.

There is one small problem however with attempting to simply bury negative memories; they still remain inside you and continue to exert a negative pressure and effect on you and your life. For instance they generate negative emotions, thoughts and self sabotaging behaviors that periodically enter into your life causing a disruption. These disruptions can range from a simple feeling of annoyance all the way to becoming utterly self destructive.

Ultimately, the veil between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind is rather frail at the boundary. This means that negativity from one’s past memories can and does occasionally transgress into conscious awareness. What’s more up until recently there was little one could do to effectively deal with this.

There are two constants regarding the human condition: first, we like to be “right,” sometimes at any cost, and second, we like others to agree with us. But when either or both of these don’t happen, many of us will push even harder to prove our rightness. Anger always seeks a place to go. Some people stuff it and direct it towards themselves. This is referred to as anger turned inward, and is often a precursor to clinical depression. Others displace it onto family, friends, co-workers and even their pets. And in its worst case, some folks literally explode, leading to full-blown conflict, destructive relationships, and even aggressive or violent acts.

But is anger always a big, bad, ugly, potentially destructive emotion? Absolutely not. When used constructively and productively, anger can be a very positive motivating force in your life. It can provide a basis to make positive changes or accomplish personal goals. Anger provides energy, which can be directed towards achievement in work, school, sports or other areas. When dealt with directly and maturely, anger felt towards another person can lead to improved communication and understanding in the relationship.

So how does anger work? Well, the simplest answer is that anger involves complex feelings. Our response to anger involves our bodies, our behaviors and our thought processes. The situations that produce angry feelings have no emotional value in and of themselves — it is the way we interpret these events that causes a shift in our physiological arousal. Acknowledging that you create your own anger leads to the possibility of dealing with it in less self-defeating ways.

Here are a few coping techniques to help you handle anger more effectively:

Learn to recognize and label anger

Anger can have a very swift onset. There is no more effective way to control anger escalation than to nip it in the bud before it gets out of control. Find out what your anger signs are. What happens to your body when you become angry? Do you develop a hollow feeling at the pit of your stomach? Do your palms begin to sweat? Early recognition is the key to learning how to step back and re-evaluate a volatile situation more rationally.

Change the way you think

When you’re angry, your thinking can be overly exaggerated and dramatic, making it easier for you to narrow your focus on what you perceive as injustice. So try replacing “awfulizing” thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, “Oh, this is just horrible; everything’s ruined,” say “this is disappointing and I’m upset about it, but getting angry won’t solve a thing.”

What the Hell!

Rarely are situations as catastrophic as we make them out to be in the heat of the moment. So what if the driver in the red Corvette abruptly changed lanes without signaling? Will it make any difference an hour later? How about ten minutes later? Will you vow to never drive again because of this?

Redirect your anger energy

Anger is a high-arousal state accompanied by an adrenaline rush. So one of the most helpful things you can do is to engage in an activity that lowers your heart rate – such as yoga, deep breathing, visualization or meditation. Creative media such as painting, drawing and gardening may also be helpful. Running, walking and other types of aerobic exercise, especially if done on a regular basis, help you work off anger and leave you feeling more relaxed.

Keep an “anger log”

Record your feelings of anger together with the situations in which they occur in an “anger log.” Your log should include who or what was involved, your thoughts related to your feelings, how you coped, the results of your coping strategies, and how you could have handled the situation better. Reviewing each situation can help you determine if there are any patterns to your anger.

Professional help

If your anger is really out of control, if it is adversely impacting your relationships or other important areas of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing an array of strategies to help you manage anger more effectively.

Remember, you will never be able to rid yourself of anger completely. And that’s a good thing, because doing so would rob you of often-needed energy. Life will continue to be filled with disappointment, hurt, pain, loss and the undesirable actions of others. You can’t change any of that, but you can change the way these issues affect you. Practice your anger management skills regularly, and keep in mind that change takes time, effort and patience – especially at first.

You might find that one or two of these exercises may not be a great fit for you, but it is important that you try each of them. You may discover some uncomfortable truths about yourself in doing these exercises. Try to be nice to yourself. If you become overwhelmed at any point, just stop and rest.

Some of these exercises ask you to complete a sentence. Please read the sentence-stem either aloud or silently and then let the sentence finish itself without trying to pre-think an ending. Feel free to change the sentence-stem in order to make it feel more true. Repeat the exercise over and over until you are not getting any new endings before going on to the next one.

1. Begin by imagining waking up in the morning and going through the entire day without any trace of anger. Not only do you feel no anger, but you know that you never will again. You experience the same types of frustrations and people treat you the same way, but the anger is gone. Pay careful attention to anything that feels unwelcome about this reality. Spend some time with this experience before moving on.
Write down what you learn.

2. Now get in touch with your feeling of anger by imagining a recent situation that provoked it. Once it is there, feel the anger in your body, and then ask it, “What is your job?” or “How do you serve me?” and wait for it to answer.
Spend some time with this experience before moving on.
Write down what you learn.

3. Stay in the situation that provoked your anger. Make it feel very real and let the anger come up. Once you are there, say to the person who is the target of your anger, “When you see my anger, part of me hopes that you will…” and finish that sentence.

4. Stay in the situation that provoked your anger. Make it feel very real and let the anger come up. Once you are there, ask yourself, “If I don’t go to anger right now, what would I feel?”

5. Stay in the situation that provoked your anger. Make it feel very real and let the anger come up. Once you are there, ask yourself what you were feeling the split second before you started feeling anger. Spend some time with this feeling before moving on. Write down what you learn.

6. Continuing to feel whatever you felt just before it turned into anger, and name what it feels like in your body. Still in this scene that provoked your anger, try saying the sentence, “Right now I am afraid that…” and let the sentence finish itself without pre-thinking an ending. You can change the sentence-stem to make it fit for you. Keep trying this sentence completion a few more times. When you are ready to move on, write down anything that felt particularly strong.

7. Still in touch with your feeling, ask yourself how old you feel, or when it was that you first felt this way. Let yourself remember what it was like when you first felt this feeling. Staying in that memory, finish the sentence again, “Right now I am afraid that…” Spend some time with this feeling. When you are ready to move on, write down anything that felt particularly strong.

8. Please imagine the important people in your life (including your family) and get a clear picture of them. Now imagine saying to them, “If I give up my anger, then…” and let the sentence finish itself.
Keep doing this until you are getting no new endings.
When you are finished, write down some of the sentences that felt strongest.

9. Now continue to be there with those people and try saying to them,”I need my anger because…” and let the sentence finish itself.
Keep doing this until you are getting no new endings.
When you are finished, write down some of the sentences that felt strongest.

By this point, many people will feel like they have just found a part of themselves that they did not know existed. You may have discovered that your anger served an important purpose. It may have kept you from feeling afraid, or protected you. It may have helped you to feel connected with important people in your life. It is important not to turn this part of yourself into an enemy, but rather make it into a friend. You can do this by not trying to change it. Instead just accept it and let it be true. You should also spend some time each day reading over what you have learned about your anger. Many people will feel a strong need to have someone with whom to share this new truth. You can tell a trusted friend, a support group or schedule a session with a therapist.

This is not to say that we should stuff our anger, or feel guilty for experiencing anger. Anger is a common human emotion, even if it is a reactive one. We all feel it. And we feel it more often than we like to admit. However, anger can cause illness in the body, mind and soul. Anger is a necessary emotion and is there for a reason; self-exploration. Whatever a person does, or says, to push our buttons and cause us to feel hurt and/or angry we’ve allowed that emotion (or may have even created it) to happen. How we react to any given situation is a matter of choice. We can choose to give away our personal power, or not.

Positive Steps to Learning a Healty Response to Anger:
1. Forget about seeking revenge and acknowledge that you’re hurt.
2. Follow the hurt back into its roots in the past to all those times and circumstances when you felt the same way.
3. Forgiveness — consciously make the decision to set aside any desire to see a person hurt because of the hurt he or she caused you.

Remember that anger, being an emotion, is not something you can ever get rid of. As long as you are alive there will be times when you are insulted and feel hurt. And, as long as there are times when you feel hurt, you will be pulled down into unconscious fantasies of revenge. But once you notice that you feel hurt you have a choice. You don’t have to accept blindly the unconscious slide into revenge.