The “law of reciprocity” is described  as the act of giving unconditionally without expecting any returns; the implication is the giver experiences returns in the form of blessings, an answered prayer, or simply self-gratification. Giving does not necessarily imply the act of tithing. In this context, giving may also apply to random, spontaneous acts of kindness.

A phenomenon that continues to perplex many is defining the path of happiness. According to a recent medical study titled, “The path to happiness: it is better to give than receive” states in simple terms why the concept of giving achieves a level of satisfaction for the giver: The things that are important are things to do with relationships, with other people, and things that help to promote meaning, the purpose in life.

Here are eight important points regarding the law of reciprocity:

1. People expect repayment over time. This is based upon the idea of social exchange. Reciprocity is an implicit assumption in most of our relationships. Giving and receiving favours is a common exchange. When someone does something for you, they implicitly expect that when the circumstance is right, you will do something of approximately equal value for them. For example, if your neighbour helps you put up a fence, your neighbour will expect you to help them when they put up a fence or need other assistance with their home. If you cover for someone at work, you expect that they will cover for you when you need their help.

2. Acts must be mutually rewarding. A successful relationship requires that all parties benefit from the relationship and invest in the relationship. Even when one party might be the primary giver, they still often have the expectation that they will receive in kind – if not from the other party then from the world at another time.

3. Deposits don’t simply accumulate. The value of the deposits can increase or decrease over time. People may forget or ignore small deposits. People may remember big favours and large deposits for longer periods. The value of deposits is what the other person perceives the value to be.

4. You can go in the red. You can wipe out your account with a single withdrawal. If you don’t have a large accumulation of credits, or you make a very large withdrawal, or you make many small withdrawals, you can go in the red.

5. You make deposits or receive credits by making favourable impressions on others – by doing things for them. You make deposits through courtesy, kindness, honesty, respect, and other favours. The favours are often small, but they accumulate over time as your relationship blossoms. The deposits build trust and create a history of what the parties involved in the relationship expect from each other.

6. A history of reciprocity promotes trust. People evaluate your actions and motives based upon their perceptions of your previous actions and motives.

7. Reciprocity is a very powerful form of power. The expectation of giving and returning favours creates an obligation to stick to agreements. This is a very powerful and psychologically binding expectation. Although they may never discuss the expectation openly, it is there and affects negotiations and relationships.

8. Reciprocity can be both positive and negative. If you harm others, they may seek revenge or retribution. People want to make things even in a relationship. They want to do good for those who have treated them well. They want to do harm to those who have harmed them.

By understanding and using the power of reciprocity, you can improve your relationships and avoid mistakes that can permanently damage your relationships. In life and work, you get what you give.